As we try to get back to day to day, it just isn't the same. But our children, need to see us be normal and cope. So, Megan and I took the kids to my folks swimming. Here they are.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Prayer for this family
Because I am an avid blog reader...daily in fact, and I happen to have met a lot of great people of the years, I am delighted to tell you that through a great friend I am now sharing a journey with you in their Adoption story.
So Gang's All Here has received a call about a possible Referral. I remember that day so vividly when we were presented with our daughters photo, medical information, and an acceptance letter and 24 hours to respond. Here's the difference, with AA I had 9 months to prepare, I knew he was growing, didn't know what he would look like, prayed that he would be healthy but knew that in a reasonable time frame he would be here. With adoption, it is a roller coaster, filled with unexpected pregnancy lengths, delays, joys and emotions that somehow only adoptive parents can explain or feel.
Today, I am lifting these dear people up, as they read about their daughter, seek the Lord's guidance and make a choice that will change their life forever. From one adoptive mother to another, trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. My daughter has changed my life, and blessed are they that know her.
Many Blessings
So Gang's All Here has received a call about a possible Referral. I remember that day so vividly when we were presented with our daughters photo, medical information, and an acceptance letter and 24 hours to respond. Here's the difference, with AA I had 9 months to prepare, I knew he was growing, didn't know what he would look like, prayed that he would be healthy but knew that in a reasonable time frame he would be here. With adoption, it is a roller coaster, filled with unexpected pregnancy lengths, delays, joys and emotions that somehow only adoptive parents can explain or feel.
Today, I am lifting these dear people up, as they read about their daughter, seek the Lord's guidance and make a choice that will change their life forever. From one adoptive mother to another, trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. My daughter has changed my life, and blessed are they that know her.
Many Blessings
Friday, June 6, 2008
I am the Lord who heals you…” (Exodus 15:26b)
I am the Lord who heals you…” (Exodus 15:26b)
When your heart is shattered, there is one truth you need to hold on to: God loves you unconditionally. God does hear us when we call for his help. We all know our family needs his help this week. We need to hold on to this important truth. God created us with an innate desire to know and love him. While this desire will last eternally, trauma can shock it into temporary dormancy. My prayer and trust is in the Lord, and I pray that he will heal my family from the inside out.
When your heart is shattered, there is one truth you need to hold on to: God loves you unconditionally. God does hear us when we call for his help. We all know our family needs his help this week. We need to hold on to this important truth. God created us with an innate desire to know and love him. While this desire will last eternally, trauma can shock it into temporary dormancy. My prayer and trust is in the Lord, and I pray that he will heal my family from the inside out.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Finding Normal
Today, I ventured into work and as I sit here, I am wondering if this is a good idea.
Surronded by photos of our family and all of our happy times, brings a void that fills my heart and my life today.
The last two weeks have been unbearable and I believe now we start the healing process. I know that Eric would want us to go on as before, but normal isn't normal, when the hole is so big inside our hearts.
My only prayer is that tomorrow will be easier than today, that the normal carries his legacy to the highest degree, and that he knows now, as he did then just how much we love him, are proud of him, and miss him.
Surronded by photos of our family and all of our happy times, brings a void that fills my heart and my life today.
The last two weeks have been unbearable and I believe now we start the healing process. I know that Eric would want us to go on as before, but normal isn't normal, when the hole is so big inside our hearts.
My only prayer is that tomorrow will be easier than today, that the normal carries his legacy to the highest degree, and that he knows now, as he did then just how much we love him, are proud of him, and miss him.
Monday, June 2, 2008
The Broken Chain
We little knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.
You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Remembering Eric Toothaker
Remembering Eric ToothakerComments 2 Recommend 6
24-year-old Hurlburt airman was found dead in Santa Rosa Sound
May 29, 2008 - 6:01PM
Robbyn Brooks
NAVARRE - Eric Toothaker was a hero to his younger brothers and sisters.Brandon, 16, and Tanya, 19, both used the same word to describe him: "Awesome.""Hearing he was gone was the most shocking moment of my life," Brandon Toothaker said from his home in Hazelton, Pa.Memorial Day was Eric Toothaker's birthday. His wife had given him a blue kayak and he set off on an excursion on Santa Rosa Sound. It was a new adventure for the 24-year-old Hurlburt Field airman, who never did much kayaking. But he was no stranger to water or rafting."He could swim like a fish," said his father, Bill Toothaker. Eric never came home. He was found floating facedown in the sound about a half-mile east of the Woodlawn Beach boat ramp in Midway early the next morning.Bill said Eric's wife, Megan, feels somewhat responsible for her husband's death because she gave him the kayak."He wanted that kayak and he was getting it one way or another," Bill said of his son's tenacity.The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is trying to piece together a timeline of what happened to Eric. They know Megan had contact with him at about 1 p.m. and two people found his abandoned kayak at about 2:30 Monday afternoon near Soundside Drive. When Bill called his son to wish him a happy birthday Monday evening, he only got his voice mail.Wounds on Eric's body indicate he may have been hit by a boat. An autopsy was scheduled for Wednesday, but the results haven't been released.Eric's parents and their spouses, and Megan and her parents will attend a memorial service for Eric at 11 a.m. today at Hurlburt before they take him back to Pennsylvania."I'm going to miss his smile the most," Bill said. "He was one of the easiest kids ever to raise. You'd never see him without a smile."Brandon last saw Eric in September, the same month Eric was married and began his service as an aircraft mechanic at Hurlburt. He was an Airman 1st Class with the 1st Special Operations Aircraft Maintenance Squadron."We just hung out," Brandon said of that meeting. "Just being around him was enough for me."Eric's sister, Tanya, said he and Megan picked her up while she was in an Air Force tech school in Mississippi. She said the last day she spent with her big brother was a happy one. They went to an aquarium and shared time together."It was a lot easier going through basic and everything," Tanya said. "He'd already done it. He was so much help."Tanya is stationed in Germany, but is home for Eric's funeral."I'll miss pretty much everything about him," Tanya said. "He loved being outdoors and he loved sports."Bill said Eric was a huge fan of Duke basketball and Penn State football."Every time I talked to him, the conversation always drifted that way," Bill chuckled of his son's enthusiasm for sports.The last memory Bill has of Eric is playing basketball with him and Brandon. He said it was something the three enjoyed doing together.Eric's mother, Carrie Sernak, said he was independent and loved to do things for himself ever since he was young. One of her proudest moments as a mom was seeing him in uniform.His family described the young airman as a man of honor, pride and loyalty."He'd never hurt anyone else's feelings," Bill said. "He always put others before himself."Bill said the loss of his son is devastating for the entire family, including Eric's 2-year-old sister, Faith, and his 7-year-old brother and godson, Adam.Bill asked to share this thought with other parents: "Hug your kids. Tell them you love them. The chance may slip by and you'll never get it again."
IF YOU KNOW SOMETHINGAnyone with information on Eric Toothaker's accident should call the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission at (888) 404-3922.
24-year-old Hurlburt airman was found dead in Santa Rosa Sound
May 29, 2008 - 6:01PM
Robbyn Brooks
NAVARRE - Eric Toothaker was a hero to his younger brothers and sisters.Brandon, 16, and Tanya, 19, both used the same word to describe him: "Awesome.""Hearing he was gone was the most shocking moment of my life," Brandon Toothaker said from his home in Hazelton, Pa.Memorial Day was Eric Toothaker's birthday. His wife had given him a blue kayak and he set off on an excursion on Santa Rosa Sound. It was a new adventure for the 24-year-old Hurlburt Field airman, who never did much kayaking. But he was no stranger to water or rafting."He could swim like a fish," said his father, Bill Toothaker. Eric never came home. He was found floating facedown in the sound about a half-mile east of the Woodlawn Beach boat ramp in Midway early the next morning.Bill said Eric's wife, Megan, feels somewhat responsible for her husband's death because she gave him the kayak."He wanted that kayak and he was getting it one way or another," Bill said of his son's tenacity.The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is trying to piece together a timeline of what happened to Eric. They know Megan had contact with him at about 1 p.m. and two people found his abandoned kayak at about 2:30 Monday afternoon near Soundside Drive. When Bill called his son to wish him a happy birthday Monday evening, he only got his voice mail.Wounds on Eric's body indicate he may have been hit by a boat. An autopsy was scheduled for Wednesday, but the results haven't been released.Eric's parents and their spouses, and Megan and her parents will attend a memorial service for Eric at 11 a.m. today at Hurlburt before they take him back to Pennsylvania."I'm going to miss his smile the most," Bill said. "He was one of the easiest kids ever to raise. You'd never see him without a smile."Brandon last saw Eric in September, the same month Eric was married and began his service as an aircraft mechanic at Hurlburt. He was an Airman 1st Class with the 1st Special Operations Aircraft Maintenance Squadron."We just hung out," Brandon said of that meeting. "Just being around him was enough for me."Eric's sister, Tanya, said he and Megan picked her up while she was in an Air Force tech school in Mississippi. She said the last day she spent with her big brother was a happy one. They went to an aquarium and shared time together."It was a lot easier going through basic and everything," Tanya said. "He'd already done it. He was so much help."Tanya is stationed in Germany, but is home for Eric's funeral."I'll miss pretty much everything about him," Tanya said. "He loved being outdoors and he loved sports."Bill said Eric was a huge fan of Duke basketball and Penn State football."Every time I talked to him, the conversation always drifted that way," Bill chuckled of his son's enthusiasm for sports.The last memory Bill has of Eric is playing basketball with him and Brandon. He said it was something the three enjoyed doing together.Eric's mother, Carrie Sernak, said he was independent and loved to do things for himself ever since he was young. One of her proudest moments as a mom was seeing him in uniform.His family described the young airman as a man of honor, pride and loyalty."He'd never hurt anyone else's feelings," Bill said. "He always put others before himself."Bill said the loss of his son is devastating for the entire family, including Eric's 2-year-old sister, Faith, and his 7-year-old brother and godson, Adam.Bill asked to share this thought with other parents: "Hug your kids. Tell them you love them. The chance may slip by and you'll never get it again."
IF YOU KNOW SOMETHINGAnyone with information on Eric Toothaker's accident should call the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission at (888) 404-3922.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
My heart hurts so badly!
Airman found dead
Eric Toothaker, 24, found in Santa Rosa Sound on Tuesday morning
Robbyn Brooks
Tuesday May 27th, 2008 Comment on this Story Read Comments
MIDWAY — An airman stationed at Hurlburt Field was found dead Tuesday morning in Santa Rosa Sound. Eric Toothaker, 24, was reported missing by his wife after he didn’t come home Monday from a kayaking excursion. Rescuers found him floating face-down about 200 yards from shore about a half-mile east of the Woodlawn boat ramp in Midway. His blue kayak had not been recovered as of Tuesday afternoon. “The kayak is considered evidence in this case,” said Stan Kirkland with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Kirkland added that Toothaker’s injuries indicate he may have been hit by a boat. An FWC helicopter and four vessels searched for the kayak and the orange paddle Toothaker was using. The kayak may have sunk, Kirkland said. Finding the paddle could lead searchers to it. Toothaker of Navarre set out sometime Monday afternoon — his birthday — in a kayak his wife had given him. “Our top priority right now is taking care of his family and ensuring they have the support they need to make it through this trying time,” said Hurlburt spokeswoman Tech. Sgt. Angela Shepherd. “Every Hurlburt airman plays a vital role and the loss of any one of them creates a giant rift.” Toothaker was an Airman 1st Class assigned to the 1st Special Operations Aircraft Maintenance Squadron. He had been stationed at Hurlburt since September 2007 and worked as an aerospace propulsion apprentice. “We desperately need to recover this kayak,” Kirkland said. If someone finds the kayak, he or she should contact the FWC immediately, said Kirkland. The kayak should be not be touched any more than it may already have been. Anyone with information about the accident or where the kayak might be should call 888-404-3922. Daily News Staff Writer Robbyn Brooks can be reached at 863-1111, Ext. 1445. If you have memories or photos of Airman 1st Class Eric Toothaker you'd like to share for a memorial story, contact Robbyn Brooks at robbynb@nwfdailynews.com, or calling (850) 315-4445.
Eric Toothaker, 24, found in Santa Rosa Sound on Tuesday morning
Robbyn Brooks
Tuesday May 27th, 2008 Comment on this Story Read Comments
MIDWAY — An airman stationed at Hurlburt Field was found dead Tuesday morning in Santa Rosa Sound. Eric Toothaker, 24, was reported missing by his wife after he didn’t come home Monday from a kayaking excursion. Rescuers found him floating face-down about 200 yards from shore about a half-mile east of the Woodlawn boat ramp in Midway. His blue kayak had not been recovered as of Tuesday afternoon. “The kayak is considered evidence in this case,” said Stan Kirkland with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Kirkland added that Toothaker’s injuries indicate he may have been hit by a boat. An FWC helicopter and four vessels searched for the kayak and the orange paddle Toothaker was using. The kayak may have sunk, Kirkland said. Finding the paddle could lead searchers to it. Toothaker of Navarre set out sometime Monday afternoon — his birthday — in a kayak his wife had given him. “Our top priority right now is taking care of his family and ensuring they have the support they need to make it through this trying time,” said Hurlburt spokeswoman Tech. Sgt. Angela Shepherd. “Every Hurlburt airman plays a vital role and the loss of any one of them creates a giant rift.” Toothaker was an Airman 1st Class assigned to the 1st Special Operations Aircraft Maintenance Squadron. He had been stationed at Hurlburt since September 2007 and worked as an aerospace propulsion apprentice. “We desperately need to recover this kayak,” Kirkland said. If someone finds the kayak, he or she should contact the FWC immediately, said Kirkland. The kayak should be not be touched any more than it may already have been. Anyone with information about the accident or where the kayak might be should call 888-404-3922. Daily News Staff Writer Robbyn Brooks can be reached at 863-1111, Ext. 1445. If you have memories or photos of Airman 1st Class Eric Toothaker you'd like to share for a memorial story, contact Robbyn Brooks at robbynb@nwfdailynews.com, or calling (850) 315-4445.
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