Talking Out Loud......Adoption

This past week, I was lucky enough to attend a conference entitiled: Enhancing Attachment: Strategies for Families and Professionals. So while, some of your may be confused of why I would do this, let me first tell you that Adoption is different than biological parenting. And while I could take up most of your time explaining all of the differences let's begin here. Normal infants when born, cry and their mothers/fathers meet their needs. You pick them up, rock them, feed them when they are hungry, make sure they are dry. To better explain Chinese adoption and previous conditions in orphanges see this link:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zi6j3OnLCuw&feature=related

While, we have seen the images of Faith's orphanage and I must say they are pretty nice, I will recall this story from our first night together. We were blessed with our daughter at 3:30 on a Sunday afternooon, by the time we got back to the hotel it was after 5:00p.m. Until transactions were accomplished and baby was settled, she laid down at 7:00p.m. to sleep. It was not until 6:00 a.m. the next morning, that I turned on a light to check on her. She was sitting up in her crib, not making a sound, completely saturated in urine from head to toe. She had not eaten in 12 hours nor did she wake up, cry and ask for food. I reached for her, but she didn't reach for me. She was unsure, and while many of you will say Sure, you are a stranger to her. Just wait until further postings as I unfold our story.

I picked her up, fed her, changed her and she immediately wanted down, not to be held. From what we have researched and know that children in this orphanage settings are rarely held, changed only 5 times a day and fed on a schedule with other children. One should know that when you cried as a child, someone picked you up, held you, fed you, made sure you were dry, sang to you and nutured you. It's part of how we know that we are loved.

When I look at images of our daughter in those first few days, I see fear, fear that I thought was bashfulness, but as I explain attachment disorder, you might be able to see it. Changes that I wish we would have done, and what we are doing now.

So, here are pictures from our first days. I will continue more tomorrow!