Friday!

So, today like every other day, I pack up the kids into the car very early, drop at daycare and then head to work. Today at work, I decided to take 15 minutes to hang some pictures in my office. So as I look at the photos on the wall, I am drawn to the one with Bill, Eric, TT, BB, AA and myself. If my memory serves me correct AA was 6 months in age. This photo is a great memory for me. One, because it reflects all of us at the season in our life, and two because I remember the kids putting on Santa hats, thinking that it was all a bit corny, but did it for their "Stepmother".
I like to look at that time, the smiles on the photographs and ponder where was I then, and where am I now. Easy to saw...grown. You see, when looking on that photo, I realize that I have done alot of wrong in my life when it comes to my children and step-children. I remember a time when I wanted it my way...all the time. Adjustments had to be made, in order to to blend our family and make the household non stressful. I can honestly say from my standpoint, that stress has turned into joy.
So here are some things I have learned:
1.) Expect the unexpected. Letting go of my preconceived expectations for my relationships with Eric, Tanya and Brandon, and realize that I was bound to encounter surprises - both good and bad - as we got to know each other. Rather than trying to fulfill my own agenda, I have committed my relationships to God and trust Him to lead all of us.
2.) Don't try to replace your stepchildren's natural mother, instead I seek to be a friend. This was the hardest to learn, but having learned this, took the pressure off of me and them by simply being me rather than trying to be someone I wasn't. I now know that my role as a stepparent is important, and that I am in a unique position to lend perspective. Refraining from criticizing their mother - even when I disagree with choices - remembering that my stepchildren love her and I need to respect them.
3.) I now view my stepchildren as God sees them - people made in His image that He dearly loved. Realizing now that they are a gift to ME !!!! Their relationships have blessed me and make me who I am today.
4.) Have some patience Becki!! Acknowledge the pain my stepchildren have suffered due to the divorce of their natural parents, and know that it will take some time for them to adjust to the situation. I know that it is every child's wish to have their parent's together, and I was an obstacle. Met with resistance alot of times, I feel short of the grace of God and was inpatient and insensitive.
5.)Make myself more AVAILABLE! I have always tried to have availability for my children, doing activities with them, and taking them places. I just wish there was more of this. I wish that I did more one on one to show them how special that they are to me.
6.) Love them unconditionally. As a model of how God loves us, so shall we love others.

So today, my prayer is that when they look at the photos of the family, they remember the silly Santa hats, the smiles, the joy that we shared. As we continue in the seasons of our lives let them remember the good times and just how very much I love all of them.